Happy late Madness Day! Okay now that that's covered onto some heavier stuff.

I'm in a daze wondering how everyone copes with their mental illnesses. I may not seem that bothered by mine, or perhaps I do, but mine is crippling and something that I just can not seem to overcome. With a plethora of drawbacks, I'd say larger than most, this is a hill I can not even attempt to climb anymore. I know I am not popular here, but I still frequent the NG chat on occasion for them to bestow upon me some wisdom. Funnily enough I come here to talk to smart people, not that I am one of them. I am just really curious how everyone else deals with their shit and how I can't seem to deal with mine. I've taken many breaks from everything under the bright and cheery sun, in an attempt to find a way to deal with this mess that is my life, yet I never come even halfway on top. It's not the prettiest thing to see, some bloke complaining, but fuck I have tried everything. It seems a better me is not humanly possible, much to the dismay of me and others. This is something I have been dealing with for about 6 years or so, it ain't new and it sure as hell is not being managed at all. I am going crazy. Anxiety and depression seem like both a common and easy task to overcome, but that combined with other parts of me is hell on Earth. The Jake that frequented Ng about 8 years or so ago is dead! Dead I say. The one that took his place is a different kind of dead and maybe not that much of an important asset to lose, but hey, what can ye do? Now I've been trying to maintain a respectful tone in all of this, but I am really at my wits end. What in the absolute hell do I do, and what have you all done to combat yours?